August 24, 2006

Sigh..why do I always write such unhappy posts..was supposed to be posting something happier and this came out..tsk..

My tuition kid left me disappointed and angry on Monday when I was found out that he had been keeping mum about his change of examination dates. I truly felt like a fool when I realized that I had been going through the subject that he already sat for earlier that day. Apart from lying and making excuses, it was especially hurtful when he asked me to leave while I was attempting to help. You didn’t know how to do and you want me to leave?!?! (I want to whack your ass, you know that??) How dumb am I to give him frequent time extensions for the past 2 months? Exceeding by an average of 30 minutes on normal days, I stayed on for close to 1.5 hours on Monday to give him a thorough revision – unappreciated. (It was really dumb to do it in the first place..)

Sigh..

I really wanted him to do well - to fulfill my responsibility as a tutor and to meet my own agenda. Unknowingly, I have made him my psychological support and linked his achievement to mine. If I could make him study and do well, I could do it for myself too. And, if I bother to think of ways to teach him effectively, it is therefore in my best interest to work doubly as hard for my grades. It is a terribly silly association but it has left me depressed that night. So dumb.. While I was upset that my efforts were taken lightly, I was probably more upset that he had forcibly snatched away the motivation behind this tuition assignment..

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