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January 31, 2007
Snap out of it! 1) NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU FEEL SHITTY EXCEPT YOURSELF! 2) KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND MARCH! FORWARD!!! FIGHT~~!!!!!!!!!!(from A) 3) INDEPENDENCE! (from J) 4) GIVE YOURSELF WHAT YOU WISH SOMEONE ELSE WOULD GIVE YOU! (from Sa) 5) LOVE YOURSELF (from Si) 6) FIND YOURSELF 我会更好!!! 更好,更好,更好!!!! 世界会更美丽!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by dew at
January 22, 2007
尽管风景依旧, 昔日的情怀早已烟消云散. 尽管多么靠近, 那也不过是个擦身而过. 无论过去的日子有多美好, 那也已成了过眼云烟. 追溯历史只会带来伤痛. 伤心如何, 害怕又如何. 太阳依然会从东边升起. 唯有展望未来才可抽身一切, 从新出发. 快乐与否也莫过于一种选择. Posted by dew at
..bestowed life to the giant that been waiting to be awakened. your presence has finally unearthed the fears that I have relentlessly been trying to put behind me. as i caught a glimpse of you from a distance, my first reaction was 'darn'. i did not know how to react! what do I have to do?.. i am scared..terrified! the canteen was very packed but there was only a tall and burly man who kept us apart. ‘please let me hide behind you’ i prayed. but he was gone before i knew it. i was right beside you. ..right beside you! i wished i could disappear there and then. helpless is the only word. how apt. then a voice behind me had to say ‘binjuan..’ sshhh.. do not say my name, ning.. we were zero distance apart. he can hear us. please.. i do not know if he did saw me or was pretending not to.. but i continued scrambling in the other direction. the heart was seemingly screaming for its escape. let me survive. i will be good. i cannot imagine what would happen if our eyes met. i will totally lose control and take flight. i will. totally freaked out. ... your appearance has casted doubts on the happiness that i seemingly had all these weeks. i have been deceiving myself. have i? fear, leave me. i do not have what it takes to be your friend. let me go. Posted by dew at
January 16, 2007
**Starry starry night** Starry, starry night shepherds watching Oh what a site, on a starry night The angels fill the sky with so much glory that they blind the starry night Starry, starry night, are you watching? The sky is shining bright on this starry night'cause the diamonds of the heavens are the same ones that were shining On the shepherds and the wise men and the savior on that starry, starry night Starry night *** a star-studded night it is. twinkling against the dark blue skies. i wish i could be.. listening to an open air concert.. admiring the stars. strolling along the shores.. on the soft white sand, barefooted. lying on the pastures.. watching the little magic show staged by the clouds.. transforming into interesting shapes and characters. how nice. the heart seeks serenity.
Posted by dew at
January 12, 2007
says: ur pillar will come in due time says: just prepare urself for him says: and im sure he is preparing himself for u too very sweet. thank you =) there will someone preparing for all my dears too ;) yet, i would prefer to live for myself (at least for the time being..really?) living for another person seems so passive, restrained and helpless. i want to have the freedom to choose; to select the path to take. let me be the scriptwriter this once. Posted by dew at
January 11, 2007
come on! you are THE ONE. stop looking around. yes. you. Posted by dew at
we look often so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. the door that leads to the vast greenery ahead is so attractive and mesmerising..but the force of the black hole seems ever present. drawing me back after every few steps.. it is tiring to do it over and over again. is that the way to create jobs? you give yourself problems to generate work opportunities and to make yourself so seemingly important in solving the predicament. right. mind, brain or whatever you are called, you are the almighty. my respects to you. stop your nonsense. it is ridiculous enough for females to go through the monthly cycle. dont make this a cycle as well. you seems to like this ritual huh. sick. yea. it definitely seems to be a problem of psychosomatic disorder. you are sick, mind. sick in the mind. or is it some mind games you are playing? ha. ha. now you have certainly made me sound crazy. how sane can we be to survive this chaotic world. they say it takes a forgetful person to be happy. only a forgetful person? maybe a crazy one can do as well. oh, does it? the words from one who hasnt been sleeping much for the past few days should not be taken seriously. fatigue triumphs. Posted by dew at
January 09, 2007
ding dong. time for school again. this holiday is definitely a short one. unfair huh. ntu ended earlier and we are starting on the same day?! haha..oops out of point. then again, it feels amazing to be back in school with all my friends. but that is probably because it is not time for me to get stressed. school has not really started for me! haha. (i am going to get it for this) as i sat through the lecture, i cannot help but zone out occasionally. and guess what, there was a mcq quiz at the end of the lecture! goodness. the knitted frown tells all. this reminds me of john though, the exchange student from auckland U. his drive to learn simply amaze me. he may be considered slightly geeky (for the record, he has gotten a mix of Bs and As for his exchange semester in nus. well done dude.) but you can really see his passion to understand what he is studying shimmering in his eyes. while examples of those who study for excellent results are bountiful, avid learners seemed rare. he expressed that the new zealand educational system provides them with more time to learn and that is probably the crux of the matter. as we cram ourselves with the knowledge to pass the umpteen hurdles and meet the pressing deadlines for projects, loving what you read is almost non existent on most occasions. however, i definitely had fun taking the space market module last semester. the lecturer, dr cheng or affectionately known as jam jam to ms siewling was entertaining and the relevant text is fantastic! the first academic text which i enjoyed reading! the feeling of understanding what you have read and being able to refute on arguments made with regard to the concepts was great! i feel smart for the first time! wahaha. while i wish that more modules can be like this, i should perhaps, be seeing this in another angle. seeking the joy of learning might be easier than praying for interesting modules which are hard to come by. oh man, it is all in the mind. **zz zz..are you seeing what i am seeing..** i had better acquire this joy before i come back from auckland. else, the 6 modules per semester is going to suck the life out of me. AND, auckland better be good. or rather, i had better make my trip a most enjoyable one to make up for the hell i will be getting when i am back! ahahaha!! Labels: Sitting in with a different emotion Posted by dew at
January 06, 2007
2007~for joy and no other!! it's the first post of the year! 2007 you are here! a year for happiness happiness and happiness.. ;) i am probably more at ease with myself now.. after you came to speak to me on msn, i had a really good sleep though nothing related to it was mentioned and i admitted that i teared a little, seeing the window that announces your presence on msn pricks no more.. have i come to terms with it? if i did, three cheers for myself!~
And if one door opens to another door closed, I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window, If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile, My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it, To your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small, You never need to carry more then you can hold, And while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too. I hope you never look back, but ya never forget, All the ones who love you, in the place you left, I hope you always forgive, and you never regret. yea. keep on finding the right opening and flaunt your brightest smile. dream big and carry light! the weight gets lighter over the days. as painful as it gets, i would not want to forget you or any single part of my life. it is bittersweet. i have lost you but i have gained precious friends (and you as my friend as well). the ones who walked through it with me. - siew, ning, han: for egging on the dying soul. had not for the continuous projects and your company, things would have been much harder. - tuck, hj, yao, da: who studied with me and propped me up during the most crucial times. i am sure i will regret terribly if i had not done well for exams. - jin, jia, sammie, shi: for talking to me and listen to all my nonsense when i need someone to talk to, when i was too distracted/bored to study during exams, for spending ya money drinking with this girl here (jin n jia.hahah), for seeing me almost every single day during the week after exams (jin) gosh, this seems like a whole list of credits or thank you speech..haha. and boy i owe so many favours. i will bring you baa-baas and moo-moos back!!(one human to four cows and one human to two sheeps in nz!) but i really thank you all..thank you so much! binjuan will live better, dream bigger! to all my endearing friends, "My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it, To your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small, You never need to carry more then you can hold, And while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too." And i love you all too~
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