Copyrighted to Eric Sim
Copyrighted to Eric Sim
Copyrighted to Eric Sim

May 27, 2007

conflicted..


is it easier to trod on the same path after the first?
does it apply to everything?
the shorter return route from parnell triggered a series of thoughts and memories..
how has it been?
despite the physical distance all this while, has anything changed?
i have made myself the prisoner of the one-man cell that i have constructed.
trapped within the four brickwalls.
by the bricks that i have laid piece by piece.
how long do i want to be in this.
it comes back.
imagine the gasps for air as you tear when you run.
it was and is suffocating.
literally and metaphorically.


it was absolutely random.. was it?
i was thinking of the gifts to get for everyone and the question of getting you one surfaced.
should i? how to?
i knew what i would get for you the very moment i applied for sep in auckland.
but things have changed and it has became a matter of should or should not.
if i did, how am i supposed to pass it to you?
what kind of facade should i put on?
pretend that i have gotten over everything and act friendly?
or pour out every single thing that went through my mind.
i recalled the plot that i told sam about.
all the pretence in hope for something else.
scheming.
silly.


receiving another rejection is the last thing i want.
why would you want to put yourself in that vulnerable state again?
i dont have an answer for that.
i want an answer myself. or do i have the answer in the first place?
why would i want to do that.
why.


if i have a chance to choose what i want to do with memories, what would i do?
erase them? no.
i treasure it and i am thankful that you were part of this.
but it is painful.. too painful.
please freeze it and safekeep it in a chest.
i will savour every bit of it years down the road.
not now.
i just to be happy.
like an innocent child...
sitting on the merry-go-round and doing a pan-kiss every time i see momo.
chuckling at the little actions that momo does.
.. the simple pleasures.


bent on finding the 6km mark during my run this afternoon, i went further than usual only to find that it was less than 10 metres from where i stopped the previous time.
the end was so near but it seemed so far back then.
had i not continued running, i would never know how close i was to the end that i was looking for.
am i next to the exit?
or am i walking around in circles, groping in the dark?
numbed, i ran on another 1 km to mission bay.
how far can i push myself?
what is all these imprisonment about?
one fine morning, i will to wake up to find all shackles gone.
released.
when will that be?


Posted by dew at 7:14 PM

Her Crown

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Believe it can be done.

Her Wish

*Fruitpicker~i want cherries!!
*Sipping a cup of hot tea in e cold and watch e world go by
*Star gazing on the plains~
*Skiing~!!~~more cushions for my bum =P

Her Royalty

jin
shi
maddie
da
yang
hunnie
xuan
veron
moses
hongkai
andrew
marilee

Her Legacy

December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
May 2006
June 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
October 2008
May 2009


Her Pictures

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
say cheese!

Her Home

Her Baa-baaS

Chatter Chatter


Credits

Designer Eric Sim
Pictures Foto Decadent
Brushes and Textures Hybrid Genesis, Misprinted- Type, and Eric Sim
Pattern Squidfingers